What to Say to a New Mom

Nov 22

Becoming a mother is a special and beautiful experience but can also be filled with challenges. At a time of great vulnerability, new moms deserve to be treated with patience and kindness. If you have a new mom in your life, you may have asked yourself what to say to a new mom. We will explore what to say to a new mom, what to avoid, and how to create a supportive environment for the new mom in your life.

Understanding the New Mom Experience

As with any change in lifestyle, new emotions come with being a first-time mom. Moms will be working through a major hormonal change, one which she has never experienced. It is important to understand these emotions and treat a new mom with grace, accounting for this shift:

Joy and Love

Anxiety and Overwhelm

Feelings of isolation

There are also physical changes that come with being a new mom. A woman’s body takes about six to eight weeks to heal after birth. New moms will need help with small tasks that were once easy. It is important to understand how a new mom might be feeling in her new body.

Communication is key during this phase of motherhood. As a loved one of a new mom, keep communication open. Ask her what she needs and how she is feeling. Sometimes, all a new mom might need is someone to talk to, so she feels validated and less alone. Understanding the new mom’s experience will help you know what to say to a new mom to support her best.

What to Say to a New Mom: Supportive Phrases to Use

Words of encouragement:

“You’re doing amazing!” - Being a new mom is hard work, and some days this might be all a new mom needs to hear! Acknowledge all the hard work she is doing all day, every day, because the job of being a mom never ends.

“It’s okay to ask for help.” - Being a new mom can be an isolating experience, let the new mom in your life know you are there for her, and that she has a support system to help with her needs.

Acknowledging her feelings:

“It is normal to feel overwhelmed.” - Being a new mom comes with many unknowns coupled with double the tasks she might be used to completing. Validate her feelings of overload.

“You’re not alone in this.” - Do not let the new mom in your life forget her support system. Even if she doesn’t ask, let her know you are there to help.

Celebrating milestones:

“Your baby is precious; look how much they have grown!” - A new mom is going to be absolutely in love with her baby, share in your love for her baby, ask her a million questions about them, she is going to be dying to talk about her baby with someone.

“Every day is a new achievement!” - It’s true, for mom and for baby. Always congratulate the little things. Keep it positive and take notice of the new tasks completed by new moms, and their babies.

What to not to Say to New Moms

Avoid comparisons:

“I did it this way...” - Every person is different, so every mom is different. Avoid telling a new mom what she is doing is “wrong”, just because it is not the way you chose to parent. If she asks for advice, share without judgement. Generally, steer clear of unsolicited advice

“Your baby should be doing ___ by now” - Again, every baby is different. Every mom is doing their best, and a lot of the time, a baby is going to meet milestones at their own pace.

Avoid comments on a new mom’s appearance:

“You look tired.” - She probably is! The last thing she wants to hear is that she looks tired. Instead try, “You are working so hard to take such good care of your baby”.

“You will bounce back soon.” - A new mom could be feeling uncomfortable in her own skin, embrace the amazing thing her body just did! Instead of bringing up the way her body looks, try “I can’t believe your body grew this beautiful baby”.

What to Say to a New Mom: Tips for Conversation

Listen more than talking:

Active listening is so important. Being a new mom can be isolating and feel like a never-ending cycle. Listen to all her concerns and joys without judgment.

Ask open-ended questions: Ask questions like “How are you feeling today?”, or “What has been the highlight of your week?”. This will lead to a productive conversation between you and the new mom in your life.

Offer specific help: Instead of asking “What can I do?”, provide specific help like “Can I bring you dinner tonight?”, or “Can I come over today and do your laundry?”. A new mom might feel overwhelmed with tasks and not be able to put her finger on the areas they need help with. Offering specific help will check something off her never-ending to-do list.

What to Say to a New Mom: Creating a Supportive Environment

Be present and available: Keep reaching out to a new mom in your life and when she reaches out to you, make yourself available. When you are with the new mom, make sure you are actively listening, being supportive, and offering help.

Take the time to understand a new mom’s preferences and routines: Noice the areas she needs the most help. She may not be comfortable leaving her baby or needing help taking care of them, she may prefer you to help with household tasks. Be mindful of her routines. do not invite her out after her baby’s bedtime or during a nap.

Join in on activities that make her feel good: Ask the new mom in your life what makes her feel good and suggest joining her. Also, be okay with her new baby joining you on your activities for a while.

What to Say to a New Mom: The Importance of your Support

Being a new mom is a unique experience, in which support and help is necessary. Being the loved one of a new mom can be an exciting yet unfamiliar territory. If you wonder what to say to a new mom in your life, always come back to being respectful of her choices as a mother and offering your support to her and her new family. Be mindful of communicating effectively and listening intently.

Connect with Maternal by Sentido

Are you pregnant and creating your pregnancy support system? Share this blog with anyone you plan on including in your support system, so they know what to say to a new mom.

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